A Word To The Ladies…

It would not be fair to my lady readers if I failed to share some philosophical advice on interpersonal relationships with women in the same way I shared advice with my gentlemen readers.

My “advice” is not a panacea for anything and I’m certainly not a relationship expert, nor am I holding myself out as such. However, I’d like to think that after nearly a half a century on this planet and quite a few interpersonal experiences, that I can certainly give the ladies a few pointers that might be of some value to them.

Below are 10 pieces of life advice for the ladies…

1. Don’t let men use your necessarily hypergamous nature against you.

Since “hypergamy” is not a commonly used term, allow me to define it…

Hypergamy literally translates (from Greek) to “marrying or mating up”. Or more accurately, only establishing relationships or having relations with mates who are on the same socioeconomic level and/or aesthetic level as themselves or (optimally) higher.

Many men (players) use female hypergamy against women by using “game” or pretending to be someone or something that they are not. Don’t fall for the games.

2. Have your own life and sense of purpose. Never make a man the center of your life. A man should only ever be a complement to your life, not the center of it.

Have some independence and an identity of your own. If you don’t, things will get boring and routine in the relationship.

3. Don’t be a needy woman. Needy behavior is suffocating for people, especially men. Yes, ladies, it works both ways.

4. Connect with your man on all levels, mental, emotional, and physical. If you’re just physically connected, but not emotionally or mentally, then the relationship won’t last over the long haul.

5. Don’t have unrealistic expectations and standards in choosing a man.

This is not to say that you as a woman should “settle” or date low-quality men, but “quality” comes in many forms.

A lot of women want a man who checks every single block on their list before they would even consider engaging him, such as being six feet tall or taller (the average American man is 5’9″ tall), or have a six figure income (only 5.4% of Americans make $100k or more in income). Additionally, to attract truly high-quality men, you have to be a high-quality woman.

6. Ditch the “Ms. Independent” routine. Nothing wrong with being independent, but don’t be so independent that you forget to act like a lady and allow a man to take the lead in ensuring your comfort and happiness.

Chivalry didn’t die, it just gets ignored because ladies and gentlemen are not demonstrating it to their sons and daughters.

7. Remember that while men have the burden of performance (to protect, provide, and procreate), women have the burden of providing the incentive for men to want to bear that burden zealously for YOUR benefit.

That means staying on your own purpose and taking care of yourself and the home (assuming you are not a career woman). If you give a man a reason to want to come home to you, he always will.

8. Take care of yourself.

This goes with number 7, but let me expand…

As a woman, you should love yourself. If you love yourself, then taking care of yourself comes naturally.

Go do your spa days, girl trips, massages, beauty treatments, gym days, whatever it takes to maintain yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. The byproduct of taking care of yourself is that you incentivize your man to do likewise.

9. Don’t go out of your way to please people. This is a sure fire way to be taken advantage of, by men and women alike. Every relationship is give and take, not give/give and take/take.

10. Know your own worth. Goes without saying.

BONUS: For the younger ladies out there, don’t waste your youth partying too much and giving yourself to men who are not serious about you and/or are not about their own purpose in life. Failure to heed this advice inevitably leads to becoming the crazy cat lady with a life full of regrets.

–The Rational Ram