I came across this quote from relationship coach/guru Sadia Khan during one of her YouTube interviews on her channel (and whose content I highly recommend).
The salient truth in Khan’s statement is that modern dating looks nothing like it did a few decades ago — and that’s not always a good thing.
What was once a path toward commitment, stability, and family has turned into a game of instant gratification, short-term convenience, and emotional detachment.
Today, dating is less about building something, and more about avoiding anything that feels too serious, too hard, or too real.
The truth? Modern dating doesn’t prepare people for marriage — it trains them for divorce.
1. Disposable Mindset: Swipe, Ghost, Repeat
Apps have made people more accessible than ever, but they’ve also made relationships feel more disposable. When things get a little tough, people don’t work through it — they move on.
One argument? One boring week? One flaw? Swipe to the next.
That mindset doesn’t vanish after the wedding.
If you’ve trained yourself to walk away instead of work things out, marriage won’t magically change that. Divorce becomes the go-to escape, not the last resort.
2. No Accountability, No Growth
Modern dating avoids accountability. People blame the other person, blame timing, blame anything but their own emotional immaturity or unrealistic expectations. They ghost instead of communicate, and cheat instead of confront.
But marriage requires emotional responsibility. You can’t disappear when it’s inconvenient. You can’t play the victim to avoid growth. Yet most people enter marriage without ever learning how to handle real conflict — because dating never required them to.
3. Too Much Sex, Not Enough Substance
Sex is easier to get than ever. But emotional connection? That’s the rare currency.
Too many people build physical intimacy before they even ask the deeper questions:
Do we share values?
Can we communicate?
Do we trust each other?
By the time people realize they’re not aligned, they’re emotionally tangled and sexually bonded — but not truly committed. So when the spark fades (as it always does), there’s nothing solid underneath.
That’s not a foundation for marriage — it’s a setup for heartbreak.
4. Self-Centered Love, Not Sacrificial Love
Modern dating encourages people to focus on what they can get: validation, attention, gifts, trips, sex, emotional comfort.
But marriage is about what you give. It demands selflessness, patience, compromise — things rarely practiced in the “me-first” culture of today’s dating scene.
You can’t go from years of selfish dating to suddenly being a selfless spouse. If dating has always been about you, marriage will feel like a burden — not a bond.
5. Practice Makes Permanent
We all know the phrase “practice makes perfect,” but here’s the real truth: Practice makes permanent.
The habits you form while dating — avoiding hard conversations, chasing novelty, giving up easily — become the habits you carry into marriage.
If dating teaches you to run when it’s hard, your first instinct in marriage will be to do the same.
Final Thought
Modern dating often feels more like training for a breakup than preparation for a lifelong commitment.
If people want lasting love, they have to start dating with intention — not just for attention.
Because if you practice detachment, avoidance, and short-term thrills, don’t be surprised when marriage feels impossible to maintain.
Marriage isn’t broken — the way we prepare for it is.
Unfortunately…
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 