Preface: This post is a slightly deeper dive into the female dual-mating strategy.
Personally speaking, I don’t think all women subscribe to this strategy. However, it is the height of naivety to think that a fair number of women don’t at least subconsciously subscribe to this strategy, rooted in evolutionary psychology.
It is my belief that most women look for excitement/good genes and security/provisioning in the same man. A not-insignificant amount of women certainly start affairs with “exciting men” after securing the stable husband or boyfriend.
The level of excitement and security a woman looks for is obviously relative to the individual woman. Whether she looks for excitement and stability in one man or at least two men is another story entirely and up for debate.
With the preface out of the way…
The concept of the “dual-mating strategy” has gained traction in relationship psychology circles.
It suggests that some women may seek long-term stability from one partner while simultaneously being drawn to traits (such as physical dominance, charisma, or confidence) in another partner—especially during fertile phases.
But how widespread is this behavior, really?
Let’s explore…
1. The Science Behind the Theory
Research in evolutionary psychology has explored this idea, suggesting it may be a subconscious, biologically rooted strategy for maximizing both genetic quality (from a short-term mate) and stability/resources (from a long-term partner).
However, these tendencies are not universal, and human behavior is far more influenced by culture, values, and individual choice than by biology alone.
2. Not All Women Think This Way
Personality and values matter:
Women with strong loyalty, self-awareness, and clear boundaries may find the idea of juggling two types of partners entirely unappealing.
Cultural and moral frameworks:
Societies and personal upbringings play a huge role. Many women prioritize trust and integrity over any fleeting “genetic” advantage.
Individual differences:
Just like men vary in their mating strategies, women’s approaches to relationships range from deeply monogamous to more opportunistic—depending on life stage, past experiences, and personal goals.
3. What Do Studies Say About Prevalence?
There’s no precise number. Studies on infidelity and attraction patterns suggest that a minority of women may act on dual-mating impulses, but this doesn’t mean most women consciously subscribe to this strategy.
In fact, many women reject the notion of relationships based on evolutionary strategies altogether.
Others may feel an internal conflict between attraction and loyalty but most choose commitment.
4. Why the Dual-Mating Theory Gets Overhyped
The narrative can be misused to paint women as inherently unfaithful or manipulative, which is unfair and untrue.
Most women want one partner who is both stable and exciting. It’s the cultural myth of the “two-partner strategy” that sometimes clouds how relationships are discussed.
We have the so-called manosphere and media to thank this hyped-up narrative.
While women who cheat on their husbands or boyfriends often cite being bored with their partner and seeking excitement or validation from another man as their motivation for cheating, it doesn’t mean that said motivation is hard-wired into the female psyche.
5. The Real Question: What Do Women Truly Want?
In reality, most women want a partner who combines emotional safety, trust, and passion.
The dual-mating idea oversimplifies this by implying that women must choose between “the stable guy” and “the exciting guy.”
In strong, healthy relationships, these traits can—and often do—exist in the same person.
Final Takeaway:
While evolutionary theories like the dual-mating strategy may explain certain attraction dynamics, it’s misleading to assume that “many women” subscribe to it.
Women are individuals, not biological robots. The healthiest perspective is understanding that loyalty and desire are built through emotional connection, respect, and shared growth—not through outdated or oversimplified mating strategies.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 