It’s a modern dating truth no one wants to hear—especially not the hopeless romantics:
If you treat someone like a celebrity, don’t be surprised when they treat you like a fan.
This dynamic plays out all the time in dating and relationships. One person puts the other on a pedestal—chasing, praising, overgiving, and overinvesting—while the other sits back and soaks it in, offering the bare minimum in return.
The problem?
You thought admiration would build connection.
They saw it as confirmation they could do better.
Let’s break it down.
1. Pedestals Are for People You Don’t Know
The moment you start idolizing someone—before really knowing their character, flaws, values, or how they treat you—you create an uneven playing field.
You’re no longer relating to them as a person. You’re relating to them as a fantasy.
And fantasies aren’t built for mutual respect. They’re built for worship.
When you put someone on a pedestal, they have no reason to come down and meet you where you are. Why would they, when the view is better from up there?
2. People Know When They Have the Power
Whether it’s a woman soaking up the attention of a man desperate to prove he’s “different,” or a man breadcrumbing a woman who’s made it clear she’ll take whatever she can get—people know when they’re the prize in someone’s mind.
And many will act accordingly:
Take you for granted.
Give less than they expect in return.
Keep you around as an ego boost, not a partner.
The more you chase, the more they slow down.
The more you give, the less they feel they need to.
Why?
Because the dynamic isn’t balanced. You’re trying to win them.
They’re just enjoying the attention.
3. Desperation Isn’t Endearing—It’s Repelling
There’s a big difference between kindness and neediness. Between admiration and obsession.
Genuine connection comes from mutual interest and shared energy—not from one person constantly proving their worth while the other evaluates whether they’re impressed.
When you treat someone like a celebrity, you signal that you believe they’re out of your league—and most people will take your word for it.
4. This Goes for Men and Women
Yes, it applies to women who idolize men too.
If you treat him like a king before he’s ever earned your loyalty, he’ll treat you like a subject.
If you excuse bad behavior, worship his potential, or convince yourself that “he’s just busy” while you do all the emotional labor, he won’t admire you. He’ll use you.
In both cases, the dynamic is the same:
One person gives too much, too soon.
The other learns they don’t have to.
5. Respect Comes From Equality—Not Excess Praise
The strongest relationships aren’t built on worship. They’re built on balance.
On mutual admiration.
Mutual effort.
Mutual interest.
If you’re always the one texting first, always accommodating, always trying to prove your value—while they contribute little to nothing—you’re not building love. You’re playing fan club president in a relationship that only exists in your mind.
Final Thought:
There’s nothing wrong with appreciating someone.
But if you treat them like a celebrity while treating yourself like a side character, don’t be shocked when they act like the star—and leave you outside the velvet rope.
The person who’s right for you won’t need to be worshipped.
They’ll want to be known.
To be challenged.
To be met, not idolized.
Put away the pedestal.
Stand on even ground.
Because real love doesn’t require an audience—it requires a partner.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 