Preface: If I had a nickel for every time I heard an unhappy woman say “I’m not happy” when they have very little to be unhappy about, I’d end up a millionaire.
Somewhere along the way, women were sold a dangerous lie:
That if you’re not happy all the time, something must be wrong—with your life, your job, your relationship, or you.
But here’s the truth no one’s telling you:
You’re not supposed to be happy all the time. And chasing constant happiness will ruin your actual life.
1. Happiness Is a Feeling—Not a Life Plan
Happiness comes and goes. It’s a moment, not a permanent state. You might feel joyful in the morning, frustrated by noon, and content again by dinner—and that’s normal.
The expectation that you should be glowing, giggling, and high on life 24/7 isn’t a goal—it’s a trap. And the more you chase it, the more disappointed you’ll be when real life shows up.
2. You’re Human—Not a Wellness Brand
The pressure to be endlessly positive, peaceful, and radiant isn’t empowerment. It’s performative. It’s exhausting. And it’s usually for someone else’s benefit—your followers, your partner, your coworkers, your mom.
But real women cry.
They get angry.
They have bad days.
They get bored in relationships.
They feel unfulfilled in careers they once prayed for.
You’re not broken. You’re just human.
3. Some Discontent Is Actually a Signal—Not a Symptom
You’re not crazy for feeling restless. Or unsure. Or even bored sometimes.
That doesn’t mean your relationship is wrong, your career is wrong, or your life is wrong. It might just mean it’s time to evolve, stretch, or refocus.
But if you expect happiness to be a constant, you’ll start burning down good things just because they aren’t euphoric every second.
Don’t confuse peace with boredom. And don’t confuse “hard” with “wrong.”
4. You Don’t Need to Be Entertained—You Need to Be Grounded
We live in a dopamine-chasing culture. Swipe this, buy that, try something new. There’s always something shinier promising to make you feel more alive.
But fulfillment doesn’t always feel thrilling.
Sometimes it’s just being steady.
Being still.
Being rooted in something real.
That doesn’t make your life dull. It makes it solid.
5. Constant Happiness Is the Fastest Route to Chronic Disappointment
If you believe you’re supposed to feel happy all the time, you’ll interpret every uncomfortable emotion as a red flag.
You’ll start asking:
“Am I settling?”
“Is this relationship enough?”
“Shouldn’t I feel more excited?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
And you’ll miss the moments where real connection, growth, or clarity are happening—because they didn’t come with fireworks.
6. You’re Allowed to Have Complex Emotions—and Still Be Okay
You can love your partner and still feel annoyed with them at times.
You can be grateful for your job and still feel drained at the end of the day.
You can be blessed and still feel burdened sometimes.
Your emotions don’t need to be filtered through a positivity lens to be valid. Let yourself feel the full spectrum.
That’s not weakness—it’s wholeness.
Final Thought:
Stop trying to feel good all the time—and start building a life that’s good for you, even when it’s hard.
You weren’t meant to float through life in a bubble of bliss.
You were meant to show up, feel deeply, grow honestly, and live fully—even when it’s messy.
So no, ladies. You aren’t supposed to be happy all the time.
You’re supposed to be real. And that’s a far more powerful way to live.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 