We love a good Instagram slogan, and “never settle” is one of the most popular. But while it sounds empowering, it’s actually terrible dating advice—no matter your gender. Here’s how it sabotages both sides:
👩 Her Side:
At 25, “never settle” means holding out for the perfect man—handsome, funny, successful, romantic, great in bed, and emotionally intelligent.
The trouble?
Your idea of “settling” changes with time. What you pass on in your 20s as “not enough” might feel like a jackpot in your 30s or 40s. The perfect man doesn’t exist—just trade-offs you can live with.
👨 His Side:
Men do the same thing. We picture a flawless woman—gorgeous, loyal, low-drama, great cook, adventurous in bed, never nags. But perfection is a fantasy.
Holding out for it keeps you swiping endlessly, rejecting good women because they’re not some dream combo of supermodel, saint, and mind-reader.
👩 Her Side:
“Never settle” also kills gratitude.
Instead of appreciating loyalty, kindness, and effort, you start scanning for whether someone “better” might come along. And yes, if you wait too long, your dating pool does change—and often gets smaller.
👨 His Side:
Men aren’t immune to that. We think our peak dating years last forever—but they don’t. Sure, guys often peak later, but by the time you hit 40, younger, higher-status men are competing for the same women you want. “Never settle” can turn into “never commit” until it’s too late.
👩 Her Side:
The truth is, every happy couple has “settled” in some way. You learn which flaws you can live with and which values you can’t live without.
👨 His Side:
Exactly.
For both men and women, the smarter rule is: never settle on your dealbreakers—but compromise on everything else. That’s how you stop chasing perfection and start building something real.
💡 Final word: “Never settle” sounds bold, but misinterpret it as “never compromise” and you’ll end up alone—not because you couldn’t find love, but because you didn’t recognize it when it showed up.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 