Some parents will go to their graves drained, broke, and heartbroken because they couldn’t face one brutal truth: sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for your grown child is to walk away.
If you keep enabling their chaos, you’re not “being a good parent.” You’re being a safety net that keeps them from ever hitting the ground they need to hit in order to change.
1. Love Isn’t a License to Abuse You
If your adult child screams at you, threatens you, manipulates you, or treats you like garbage, that’s not “just family dynamics.” That’s abuse. And the fact that you share DNA doesn’t make it okay — it makes it more dangerous, because you’re more likely to excuse it.
2. You’re Not Their ATM, Therapist, or Maid
If they only show up when they need money, a bail-out, or a favor, you’re not in a relationship — you’re in a one-sided extraction plan.
Stop funding bad behavior.
The world won’t teach them responsibility if you keep shielding them from it.
3. You’re Not Helping — You’re Harming
Every time you rescue them from the consequences of their actions, you tell them, “You never have to grow up — Mom/Dad will always fix it.” That’s not love. That’s sabotage.
4. You Don’t Owe Them Your Health or Sanity
If their constant drama, recklessness, or hostility is wrecking your peace, your marriage, your finances, or your health, you have a moral obligation to protect yourself.
You’re allowed to choose survival.
5. Walking Away Is Sometimes the Only Wake-Up Call
Some people won’t change until they lose access to you. And if they don’t change even then, that’s your proof: nothing you could’ve done would have fixed it anyway.
Final word:
You raised them.
You taught them.
You gave them chance after chance.
At some point, it’s not your job to keep saving them — it’s their job to save themselves. And if you don’t step back, they might never learn how.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 