I have posted several posts on the dual mating strategy, but I feel the need to clarify a couple of things.
Firstly, the strategy isn’t just something women subscribe to. Men engage in their own version of the strategy.
Secondly, there is a dark side, usually the endgame, to the strategy that always manifests itself.
This post examines both the male and female characteristics and consequences of exercising such a flawed and self-defeating strategy, that thankfully most people don’t subscribe to, but far too many people do.
In a nutshell, the “dark side” happens when “security plus excitement” turns into “betrayal plus regret.”
What Is the Female Dual Mating Strategy?
Evolutionary psychology often frames the dual mating strategy as women wanting the “best of both worlds”: a stable, reliable provider and a thrilling, genetically desirable lover. On paper, it sounds clever. In reality, it’s a minefield that destroys relationships, reputations, and futures.
1. It Treats People Like Insurance Policies
When a woman keeps a stable man for resources but fantasizes about—or sneaks around with—a more “exciting” man, she reduces both to utility. One is her safety net; the other is her indulgence. Both are dehumanized, and the relationship loses authenticity.
2. Excitement Fades, Damage Doesn’t
The “bad boy” or the “thrill fling” loses novelty fast. But the fallout—lost trust, broken families, and self-respect—sticks around for life. What seemed like a clever strategy ends up being self-sabotage.
3. It’s Built on Deception
The core of the strategy relies on lying—lying to the provider, lying to the lover, lying to oneself. But deception isn’t a long-term survival plan; it’s a time bomb. Once discovered, it often ends with scorched earth outcomes—divorce, custody battles, and reputational ruin.
4. The Fallout Lands on Children
Children who grow up in homes fractured by this “strategy” are often the true casualties. They inherit instability, resentment, and sometimes paternity confusion. The cost of short-term thrills is paid by those who never asked for the game in the first place.
5. It Undermines What Women Truly Want
Most women want love, trust, stability, and admiration. The dual mating strategy promises more but delivers less. The provider feels exploited, the lover rarely commits, and the woman herself often ends up without either.
6. It’s a Self-Fulfilling Trap
Ironically, pursuing both “safety” and “excitement” often leads to losing both. The provider eventually leaves or shuts down emotionally. The exciting fling rarely stays. What remains? A pattern of mistrust that follows her into every future relationship.
Closing Thought 💭 (Women):
You can’t play both sides of the chessboard and still win the game. The dual mating strategy isn’t empowerment—it’s self-destruction disguised as choice.
The Dark Side of the Male Dual Mating Strategy
The dark side of the male dual mating strategy happens when the “keeper plus side-piece” turns into “alone plus bitter.”
What Is the Male Dual Strategy?
For men, the dark twin of the female dual mating strategy looks like this: keep a “good woman” at home for stability, loyalty, and comfort… while chasing thrills with other women for ego, variety, or validation.
On paper, it feels like dominance. In reality, it’s cowardice that destroys everything of real value.
1. It Turns Love Into a Transaction
The “main woman” becomes the foundation, while the “side woman” becomes the indulgence.
Instead of cherishing her as a partner, he reduces his wife or girlfriend to a fallback plan—someone he assumes will always be there no matter how recklessly he betrays her.
2. Ego Trips Leave Permanent Damage
The thrill of being desired, of “still having it,” is intoxicating. But every affair leaves scars: broken trust, shattered respect, and reputations that never heal.
A temporary ego boost is rarely worth permanent destruction.
3. It’s Cowardice in Disguise
Cheating isn’t about strength—it’s about weakness.
Men tell themselves it’s about “options” or “dominance,” but the truth is, it’s about lack of discipline.
Real power is self-control; the dual strategy is just dressed-up immaturity.
4. Families Pay the Price
The man may think he’s juggling two worlds, but it’s the children, the wife, and the family legacy that take the hit when the truth comes out.
Divorce, distrust, and disillusionment leave permanent cracks across generations.
5. The Fantasy Collapses Fast
The “other woman” often wants commitment he never intended to give, while the “good woman” eventually reaches her limit.
The endgame?
He’s left with neither.
The very strategy meant to maximize his life leaves him emptier than before.
6. He Loses Himself Most of All
Every lie chips away at his integrity. Every betrayal erodes his self-respect. And every thrill reinforces the cycle of needing external validation instead of building real inner value.
In the end, the strategy doesn’t just cost him women—it costs him himself.
Closing Thought 💭 (Men):
You can’t have a queen at home and play with pawns on the side without losing the whole board.
The male dual mating strategy isn’t manhood—it’s self-destruction in slow motion.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 