If sex was a club, women are at the door with the velvet rope — but men run the registry at City Hall.
The Unspoken Social Contract
For centuries, society ran on a simple (if imperfect) exchange: women decided who got intimacy, and men decided who got commitment.
It was a balance that worked because each side controlled something valuable the other wanted.
The Dating Market Is Still Built This Way
Even in the age of dating apps, feminism, hookup culture, and “situationships,” this rule still applies:
Women say yes or no to sex. They control access, frequency, and context.
Men say yes or no to commitment. They decide whether a relationship moves from casual to serious, and ultimately, to marriage.
Why This Matters
The entire conversation around modern dating often pretends these dynamics don’t exist — or worse, shames one gender for using their leverage. But ignoring it creates confusion:
–Women frustrated that men won’t commit.
–Men frustrated that women “won’t choose good guys.”
Both sides thinking the other is playing unfair.
Stop Pretending the Rules Don’t Exist
If women are gatekeepers to sex, then men chasing sex will always be at the mercy of women’s choices.
If men are gatekeepers to marriage, women who want lasting commitment will always be at the mercy of men’s choices.
Instead of fighting the rules, play them wisely:
Women: Don’t give the prize (sex) away to men who won’t give their prize (commitment).
Men: Don’t offer commitment to women who don’t treat it like it matters.
The Real Win
The point isn’t to compete, it’s to collaborate.
Healthy relationships happen when both sides value what they bring to the table — and trade fairly.
Closing Thought💭
Women decide who gets in the bedroom.
Men decide who walks down the aisle.
The couples who get this right stop fighting the system — and start build something worth keeping.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 