This is a two part post that examines a topic I have often debated and discussed with others, primarily women.
Steve Harvey is a great entertainer, but like most celebrities, he should refrain from dispensing relationship advice.
Let’s be brutally honest…
If your dating strategy comes from a comedian in an expensive suit, don’t be surprised when your love life turns into a punchline.
Part 1: Why Harvey’s Relationship Advice is Terrible
1. He Packages Comedy as Wisdom
Steve Harvey is an entertainer.
That’s fine on stage, but the moment you start treating his jokes and soundbites as serious life strategy, you’re already off the rails.
Packaging good advice in comedic wrapping is an effective tool, but the packaging is not the problem in this case. The bad advice is.
2. His Advice Is Gender-Locked and Outdated
His whole “men do this, women do that” shtick is a relic of the 1950s.
I acknowledge that men and women approach relationships differently in a general sense, but these differences are often characterized as immutable gender traits by Harvey.
His point of view flattens people into caricatures and ignores how modern relationships actually function.
3. He Caters to Fantasies, Not Realities
Harvey sells a dream: the perfect gentleman, the perfect lady.
This dream obviously doesn’t reflect reality.
Real relationships have messy parts, often require compromise, and don’t fit into the “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man,” narrative he spins.
More on this book later in this post…
4. He Turns Red Flags Into Punchlines
Infidelity, double standards, selfishness — he shrugs them off with charm. But glossing over dysfunction doesn’t fix it. It normalizes it.
5. He Gives Men Excuses and Women False Hope
His framing often paints men as helpless, irredeemable players of the game and women as either hapless victims or master manipulators. The irony is that “think like a lady, act like a man” is clearly a manipulation tactic.
Both walk away misled — and worse, comfortable in continuing their bad choices.
6. He’s Selling, Not Solving
Books, tours, shows, advice segments — the brand is bigger than the wisdom.
His goal isn’t to fix your relationship. It’s to sell you on his personality, which sells books and attracts audiences to his television and radio programs.
Unfortunately, for far too many women, the sales job works. Extremely well.
7. He Ignores Real Psychology
Attachment styles, trauma, communication patterns — the things that actually shape relationships — never make it into his “advice.”
Too boring for daytime TV. Too real for his script.
8. He Romanticizes Control
A lot of his advice is about “rules” and “tests” — strategies that pit partners against each other instead of teaching trust and teamwork.
9. He Oversimplifies Marriage
Decades of work, compromise, growth, and communication get boiled down to clichés and one-liners.
That’s not guidance — that’s entertainment.
I might add that marriage isn’t for everyone. Some people simply aren’t marriage material.
If Harvey were honest and sincere in his zeal to help people, particularly women, he’d acknowledge this reality and communicate to those who need to hear it that they need to deeply work on themselves to become marriage material if they want to find and keep a long term partner, and that they should acknowledge this reality to themselves.
10. His Own Track Record Isn’t Exactly Inspirational
When the messenger can’t live out the message, maybe it’s time to question the message.
Enough said.
Part 1 Closing Thought 💭
Stop building your relationship philosophy on Steve Harvey’s punchlines. He’s not your mentor — he’s your warning label.
Part 2: Think Like a Lady, Act Like a Man is The. Worst. Relationship. Advice. Book. Ever.
Let’s start upfront with the primary reason this book has ruined a lot of women (mainly) for decades to come.
It’s literally the title of the book…
If you need to act like the opposite sex to win at love, you’ve already lost.
Let’s reverse the title and advise men to “think like a man, act like a lady.” I’m fairly certain that logic wouldn’t compute for men any more than the “think like a lady, act like a man” works for women.
1. It Assumes Men and Women Are Opponents
The whole premise frames relationships as a battlefield: men vs. women, tricks vs. counter-tricks.
If you’re strategizing against your partner, you’re not building a relationship — you’re building a house of cards destined to collapse.
2. It Trains Women to Distrust Themselves
“Act like a man” implies a woman’s instincts are broken.
They’re not.
They just need to be sharpened, not replaced with a caricature of male behavior.
3. It Turns Men Into Stereotypes
If “thinking like a man” means assuming all men are sex-driven players who can’t commit, then the advice insults men as much as it misleads women.
4. It Romanticizes Manipulation
The book isn’t about authenticity — it’s about tactics, tests, rules, and tricks.
In a word, manipulation.
Games don’t build love. They build resentment.
5. It Ignores Real Compatibility
No amount of “acting” like a man or woman will fix poor character, a lack of values, or broken communication.
That’s the real relationship math Harvey’s advice never solves.
6. It Sells Fantasy, Not Reality
Daytime TV audiences love soundbites. But real life doesn’t care about clever slogans.
Marriage isn’t just about love and intimacy. It’s also is bills, fights, growth, and choosing each other daily — not “outthinking” your spouse.
7. It Pretends to Empower While Quietly Undermining
Women are told to play the man’s game — which still puts men in control of the rules.
That’s not empowerment. That’s submission dressed up as strategy.
8. It Distracts From the Real Work
Emotional maturity.
Self-control.
Honesty.
Commitment.
These don’t sell books as well as catchy titles — but they’re what actually keep couples together.
Part 2 Closing Thought 💭
Don’t think like a lady.
Don’t act like a man.
Think like yourself.
Think FOR yourself.
Act with integrity — and you’ll be 100 steps ahead of anyone still following Steve Harvey’s playbook.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 