Preface: I’ve weighed in on “men simping” and why they shouldn’t on this blog in the past, but I never really defined the term as fully as I should have. It’s time to rectify this…
I have never written about the female-equivalent to a simp on this blog, but this post rectifies that oversight as well.
I find the buzzwords and coded language of the internet regarding dating fascinating. As a happily married, older man, I try to look at modern dating with an objective perspective.
Hopefully, my readers get something out of it…
That said…
Two words get thrown around nonstop online — simp and pick-me. But what do they actually mean?
Let’s explore…
What Is a Simp?
A simp is a man who trades his respect, dignity, and sometimes his wallet for scraps of female attention.
He overpraises women who don’t value him.
He gives unsolicited and unrequited loyalty to women who haven’t earned it.
He bankrolls “situationships” hoping they’ll magically turn into love.
He acts like women are goddesses, while relegating himself to the women who don’t want or respect him to an ATM with Wi-Fi.
Savage truth: Simping isn’t kindness. It’s desperation in disguise.
What Is a Pick-Me?
A pick-me is a woman who tries to earn male approval by throwing other women under the bus.
She brags about “not being like other girls.”
She downplays her needs to come off as “chill” in a misguided attempt to impress the men she wants who don’t want her.
She bends over backwards to cater to men who don’t offer commitment.
She criticizes women with standards, hoping the men she wants will see her as the “better” choice.
Savage truth: Being a pick-me isn’t femininity. It’s performance theater for men who aren’t clapping.
The Mirror
Simps worship women who don’t respect them.
Pick-mes worship men who don’t choose them.
Both give away value they haven’t required the other side to earn.
A simp begs for female attention. A pick-me begs for male validation. Both end up broke, bitter, and ignored.
Now that we’ve defined the terms, I present a checklist…
Simp vs Pick-Me — The Checklists
Everyone swears they’re not one… until you read the list. Time to find out.
👔 For the Gents: Are You a Simp?
You might be simping if…
1. You reply faster to her texts than she does to yours.
2. You pay for things without being her man.
3. You cancel plans with friends the second she calls.
4. You defend women online who don’t even know you exist.
5. You send daily “good morning” texts that never get answered.
6. You know her Starbucks order by heart, but she forgets your birthday.
7. You ignore disrespect just to “keep her around.”
8. You treat female attention as oxygen instead of a bonus.
Score Yourself:
0–2 = Relax, you’re fine.
3–5 = Warning: simp tendencies detected.
6+ = Congratulations, you’re a full-time simp.
💄 For the Ladies: Are You a Pick-Me?
You might be pick-me’ing if…
1. You brag about being “not like other girls.”
2. You laugh too hard at men’s bad jokes to look “different.”
3. You downplay your needs so you seem “chill.”
4. You cook, clean, or play house without commitment.
5. You shame other women for having standards.
6. You defend random men online like it’s a job.
7. You stay loyal to men who never chose you.
8. You criticize women for being “too picky” while begging to be chosen yourself.
Score Yourself:
0–2 = You’re safe.
3–5 = Pick-me tendencies showing.
6+ = Yep, you’re officially a pick-me.
The Savage Mirror
Simps hand out effort without earning respect.
Pick-mes hand out loyalty without being chosen.
Both are two sides of the same sad coin: validation over value.
Closing Thought 💭
Remember that respect and loyalty are earned. Neither should be rewarded to people in a misguided and desperate effort to win their attention and affection.
Simping isn’t manhood. Pick-me’ing isn’t femininity. Both are just desperation in disguise.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 