The loudest voices in the gender debate don’t come from the middle—they come from the extremes.
The manosphere and modern feminism both claim to “tell the truth,” and ironically, both sides do get a few things right.
The problem?
They take those truths, twist them, weaponize them, and build toxic worldviews around them.
Like most ideologies, the appeal to victimhood by pointing to “the other side” as the “problem” or the “enemy” is very strong.
Here’s where each side is onto something—and where they lose the plot.
👍🏿Where They’re Right: Men and Women Face Different Challenges
👎🏿Where They’re Wrong: They turn those differences into blame and resentment.
The manosphere is right that many men in modern society feel disposable, overlooked, or only valued for their utility.
Feminism is right that many women have faced historical systemic oppression and still navigate double standards.
But instead of offering practical solutions, both sides point fingers:
Men think modern women are entitled and delusional.
Women think modern men are weak, predatory, or incompetent.
The truth?
Most men and women don’t subscribe to the notion that they are enemies—many just feel unheard or unappreciated. They are seeking happiness that seems elusive.
👍🏿Where They’re Right: Hypergamy and Gender Dynamics Are Real
👎🏿Where They’re Wrong: They act like biology is a prison rather than simply a factor.
The manosphere is right that women often seek men with stability, confidence, and status.
Feminism is right that women shouldn’t be financially dependent or stuck in powerless roles.
But both sides take these truths and twist them into the extreme—either shaming women for wanting security, or denying the role attraction patterns actually play.
Healthy relationships aren’t built on denial or resentment—they’re built on awareness.
Being aware of hypergamy and gender dynamics should create advantages, not fuel frustrations.
👍🏿Where They’re Right: Modern Dating Is a Mess
👎🏿Where They’re Wrong: They claim the “other side” is the sole reason.
The manosphere blames feminism for killing femininity.
Feminists blame “the patriarchy” for glorifying toxic masculinity.
Meanwhile in the real world…
People swipe left or right on dating apps like they’re shopping clearance racks at Ross.
Both genders chase fantasy, then complain about reality.
Loyalty loses its value once the “options” feel endless, even though they are not.
It’s not one ideology that broke dating—it’s the inflation of ego, the illusion of abundance, and the erosion of standards that both men and women in modern society tend to fall prey to.
👍🏿Where They’re Right: Traditional Roles Had Benefits
👎🏿Where They’re Wrong: They ignore the downsides of those traditional roles and pretend we can rewind society.
The manosphere has convinced many men to miss the clear expectations and forced respect that traditional roles obligated people to each other in the past.
Feminism has convinced many women to miss the stability and dependability of traditional masculinity.
However…
These same women don’t want to be barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen, and voiceless. Which is the twisted expectation some men have. Especially the men who provide security and provision. But men who provide such things at least expect a level of submission from a woman in return.
The same men don’t want to be walking wallets with no emotional return on their investment into women, yet don’t know how to lead a woman and a family.
You can’t restore traditional roles with modern behavior.
If she wants a provider but refuses to be a partner—or he wants submission without leadership—neither model will work.
👍🏿Where They’re Right: People Take Advantage When There Are No Standards
👎🏿Where They’re Wrong: They tell their followers to abandon standards altogether.
The manosphere advises men to emotionally detach, spin plates (keep multiple women on “rotation”), and expect betrayal.
Feminism tells women to avoid dependence, prioritize self over partnership, and never “settle.”
So both genders try to protect themselves by becoming harder to love—and then complain about loneliness.
Boundaries are healthy. Emotional exile or sabotage is not.
👍🏿Where They’re Right: There Are Bad Actors on Both Sides
👎🏿Where They’re Wrong: They pretend toxic people are the majority.
Not all women are gold-diggers, manipulators, or hyper-entitled.
Not all men are predators, narcissists, or commitment-phobic.
Most people want:
Respect
Loyalty
Security
Affection
Partnership
But extremism pays better than balance.
Just ask the people from the so-called manosphere or self-proclaimed feminists on social media who peddle self-help books and expensive seminars disguised as empowerment sessions.
So Here’s the Real Truth:
The manosphere and feminism are both born from real pain, real history, and real frustration. But they both make the same mistake…
They provide an accurate diagnosis of the problem, but prescribe poison as the solution.
They take genuine issues and turn them into permanent battles.
Men get told to avoid vulnerability.
Women get told to avoid dependence.
Both get told to brace for betrayal.
Neither learns how to build something worth protecting.
Final Thought 💭
They’re not wrong about the problems—they’re wrong about the solutions.
The manosphere and modern feminism teach men and women respectively how to fight each other instead of how to understand each other.
They preach self-preservation over partnership and call it empowerment.
They turn fear into an ideology and call it “truth.”
But here’s the reality no one in either camp wants to admit…
Love isn’t dead. Trust isn’t stupid. Partnership isn’t weakness.
What’s dead is patience.
What’s missing is accountability.
What’s rising is ego disguised as enlightenment.
Fix these problems and neither ideology will have anything left to scream about.
Fix these problems for yourself, and you won’t have anything to scream about either.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 