Two genders, same delusion — just different motives.
Everyone swears they’re “evolved” now.
Monogamy is “old-fashioned.” Commitment is “a cage.”
But scratch the surface of every so-called open relationship and you’ll find one commonality…
Someone is trying to fix a private wound with public attention.
For men, it’s usually ego dressed up as freedom.
For women, it’s emptiness disguised as empowerment.
Both are chasing liberation, and both end up lonelier than before.
This two-part post breaks it down — his truth, her truth, and the brutal reality hiding between them.
🧔♂️ Why Men Want Open Relationships (Even When They Pretend It’s “Mutual”)
Men don’t want open relationships — they want open privileges with closed loyalty on standby.
1. The Illusion of Abundance
Most men overestimate how many women want them.
They see an open relationship as a buffet — until they quickly realize they’re not the main course.
Men want a soft place to land — even while they’re out flying “open.”
He imagines endless options, but the truth is, only top-tier men benefit in that marketplace.
Everyone else gets ghosted, humiliated, or outmatched by the women they “set free.”
2. The Ego Mask
When a man asks for “freedom,” it’s usually to protect his ego — not his heart.
He wants to prove he can attract others without losing his main woman.
It’s not about sex; it’s about status.
He wants to know he could still “win” in the modern mating market… even though he’s already home with someone loyal.
3. The Anchor Effect
He’ll chase novelty but still expect emotional exclusivity.
He wants to explore, but he doesn’t want to be replaced.
That’s not freedom — that’s selfish insurance.
4. The Fatal Miscalculation
Men think they’ll dominate open relationships.
They forget women’s sexual value skyrockets once boundaries vanish. There are always a wide variety of men willing to sleep with even average women.
The man who wanted to “see what else is out there” soon learns: what’s out there doesn’t want him — and what he has at home won’t stay put indefinitely.
Closing Thought (His):
Men want open relationships for ego, not evolution.
And by the time they realize they’re the side dish in their own experiment, the main course has already been served to someone else.
👩🦰 Why Women Want Open Relationships (and Why It’s Never Really About Sex)
Women don’t want open relationships — they want open validation with closed commitment still guaranteed.
1. The Attention Deficit
When a woman suggests “opening things up,” it’s rarely about craving new bodies…
It’s about craving new attention.
She wants to feel wanted again — the way she did before she settled into the routine of a committed relationship or marriage.
She’s not searching for someone better; she’s searching for the version of herself that felt desired by other men.
2. The Rebellion Against Boredom
For many women, an open relationship feels like a rebellion against predictability.
It’s a protest against feeling unseen, unheard, or unappreciated.
But the attention rush is short-lived — like a sugar high that crashes into guilt and emptiness.
3. The Backup Fantasy
When women agree to “openness,” it’s often a disguised exit plan.
A way to test if better options exist before fully exiting the relationship.
She calls it “exploration.”
In reality, it’s a soft breakup masked as “self-discovery.”
4. The Emotional Blind Spot
She underestimates how emotional entanglement multiplies when sex is added.
She thought she could separate body from heart — but she’s not built like the men she’s imitating.
Women aren’t hard-wired for the level of emotional detachment and compartmentalization that men are capable of achieving, required to bed multiple women without losing basic affection for his main woman.
The experiment ends with confusion, jealousy, and regret — not liberation.
Closing Thought (Hers):
Women want open relationships to feel alive again.
But if someone else’s attention is the only thing keeping you alive, your relationship wasn’t open — it was already over.
Closing Thoughts 💭
Freedom isn’t found in new partners — it’s found in old honesty.
Most “open” relationships don’t expand love; they expose it.
One party, usually the woman, wants validation. The other party, usually the man, wants variety.
Both end up with emptiness.
And the saddest part?
Neither wants to admit they’re terrified of being replaced.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 