Every time someone says “Where are all the good men?” a good man rolls his eyes — because he’s been standing in plain sight the whole time.
1️⃣ The Brutal Translation
“Where are all the good men?”
Often means:
Where are all the good men who are already attracted to me, ready to commit to me, and meet the standards I created after ignoring them for years?
That’s not a question.
That’s entitlement disguised as disappointment.
I have to qualify this perspective by saying that this attitude is not reflective of all single women, but any woman reading this should be honest enough with themselves to know if it applies to them.
2️⃣ Good Men Are Where Good Women Rarely Look
Good men aren’t hiding.
You just can’t spot them through:
-Nightclub lighting
-Instagram filters
-Bottle service illusions
-“City girl” friend groups
-“He needs to entertain me” criteria
You want loyalty but chase excitement.
You want consistency but reward chaos.
You want a foundation but date fire.
The good men were the “boring choices” — until the bad choices burned everything down.
But hopefully, you live and learn.
3️⃣ Good Men Are Busy Building Good Lives
While others are looking for love, good men are building a life.
They’re not lurking on dating apps with desperation.
They’re too focused on:
-Their careers
-Developing their competence
-Building stability
-Honing their self-respect
-Being responsible
You’ll find them where growth happens:
-Gyms (be careful with this one)
-Churches (be careful with this one too)
-Community events
-Professional circles (be careful with this one three)
-Mentorship programs
-Anywhere peace outshines status
Good men don’t chase chaos
They outgrow it.
4️⃣ Good Men Don’t Compete for Attention
Women often expect good men to fight for a spot in their lives.
But good men don’t fight to be chosen, they filter.
They’re not auditioning for someone who sees them as the safe alternative when the fun is over.
They don’t want to be a woman’s consolation prize, backup plan, second choice, or Plan B after she’s wasted her youth confusing chaos with excitement.
A good man who knows his worth would rather be alone than disrespected or “settled for.”
5️⃣ Some Women Walk Past Good Men Every Day…
Because they aren’t looking for good — they’re looking for chemistry without character.
They want a thrill that doesn’t come with a warning label.
They want the final chapter with the man from Chapter 1…
…after letting every villain write chapters 2 through 8.
By the time she’s ready to settle, he’s already built somewhere she can no longer afford the price of admission.
Closing Thoughts 💭
Good men didn’t disappear…
They just stopped auditioning for people who don’t recognize their value until it’s out of their reach.
If you want to find a good man:
-Be where good men are.
-Become who good men choose.
-Stop confusing chaotic men who “thrill” you with good men who will make the rest of your life drama-free and comfortable.
At the end of the day, you want a man who makes your life better, but also makes you want to grow old with him.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 