Everyone wants “the best” — until they realize what “the best” actually demands in return.
Modern dating is full of people who call their standards “high” when they’re really just misaligned.
Women want men who “have it all,” men want women who “look the part,” and both want someone who will accept them as they are.
That’s not high standards. That’s fantasy.
So here’s what realistic standards actually look like — for both sides.
For Women: What Realistic Standards Look Like
1. Want a high-value man? Be a high-value woman.
You can’t demand a man who’s disciplined, ambitious, emotionally stable, and loyal — while living on chaos, gossip, and impulsive choices.
Like attracts like, not opposites that hope to fix each other.
2. Understand the difference between preferences and prerequisites.
Preference: The selecting of someone or something over another or others; the right or chance to make a choice.
Prerequisite: Required or necessary as a prior condition; previously required; necessary as a preliminary to any proposed effect or end.
Tall, rich, and handsome are preferences.
Kind, consistent, and dependable are prerequisites.
The problem?
Most women chase preferences until they’re tired enough to finally value prerequisites.
3. Stability isn’t boring. It’s rare.
If your standard is “he must excite me,” you’ll overlook the men who can protect you, not just impress you.
Thrill fades. Safety ages well.
4. Stop confusing effort with “simping.”
If he’s consistent, he’s not a simp — he’s serious.
Simping always comes from a position of insecurity, immaturity, and weakness.
The moment you confuse drama with passion, you’ll keep choosing toxicity over peace.
5. You’re not “settling” by choosing a good man.
You’re settling when you choose chaos and call it chemistry.
For Men: What Realistic Standards Look Like
1. Want a feminine, loyal woman? Be the kind of man she can feel safe with.
You don’t earn submission by demanding it — you earn it by being reliable enough for her to relax.
2. You’re not owed beauty just because you’re a “good guy.”
Looks are earned too — through fitness, confidence, hygiene, and presentation.
Attraction is reciprocal, not charity.
3. Be honest about your league.
Men preach realism to women but chase fantasy on Instagram.
If you can’t date her without your wallet, she’s not your standard — she’s your aspiration.
4. Emotional intelligence isn’t weakness.
A man who can manage his emotions wins where “alpha posturing” fails.
You don’t have to cry — but you do have to control.
5. Stop calling women “unrealistic” when you haven’t built anything real.
High standards only sting when you haven’t met them yet.
Shared Reality Check
Both genders overestimate what they offer and underestimate what others endure.
Realistic standards come from self-awareness, not social media metrics. You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are.
Closing Thought 💭
Everyone says they’re “raising their standards.”
Few admit they need to raise themselves first.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 