Not By Nature… But By Incentive.”**
People, particularly the so-called manosphere, keep asking if women are “naturally narcissistic.”
The short answer is no.
Of course, the question that opens this post is the wrong question to ask.
The right question to ask is why does it SEEM like women are naturally narcissistic?
The truth that addresses the right question is harsh. Women aren’t born narcissists. Society, particularly men, tend to reward women for acting like narcissists.
A behavior isn’t “natural” when it gets you attention, resources, sympathy, likes, free drinks, and a never-ending lineup of men saying “hey beautiful” before you’ve done anything to earn it.
That’s not nature. That’s an incentive structure.
We as a society get the behaviors that we collectively reward.
1. Give anyone unlimited attention and zero accountability and they will act like a mini-celebrity.
Most girls get outsized male attention starting at age 12, sometimes earlier.
Not for achievements. For simply existing.
We then wonder why men wonder why some women grow up acting like they’re Beyoncé without the singing career.
This is not biology. This is economics, an oversupply of validation, an undersupply of consequences.
2. Social media turned the female image into a commodity traded on a “social stock market.”
In today’s modern society, a woman can post a photo on social media and garner more male attention in ten minutes than her grandmother received in a lifetime.
If that doesn’t inflate a woman’s ego, nothing will.
This doesn’t mean women are collectively narcissistic. It means modern society is engineered to reward vanity faster than character.
3. Female narcissism hides behind ‘softness’ but is just as ruthless.
Men tend to inflate their egos through dominance.
Women tend to inflate their egos through curation.
The filters.
The victim narratives.
The passive-aggressive comparisons.
The “I deserve better even though I bring nothing different to the table than the next pretty face” kind of attitude.
Let’s call it what it is: image-based entitlement.
4. Many women weaponize vulnerability because it works.
Cry and the argument resets.
Act helpless and men rush in.
Frame yourself as the victim and the internet forms a protective circle.
This would corrupt anyone.
The world caters to the feminine image far more than to the feminine character.
5. Modern culture teaches women to be main-characters without developing main-character discipline.
There is an old saying…
If you treat her like a celebrity, she’ll treat you like a fan.
You can’t give someone celebrity-level attention without expecting a celebrity-level ego in return.
Yet men (and women who enable each other on social media and in person) do it every day.
A curated life trains a curated identity.
A curated identity breeds narcissism.
6. Men aren’t off the hook. Duh…
Men are collectively responsible for the dynamic they collectively complain about. Men created the marketplace where the dynamic is fed.
They keep paying into it (Instagram, OnlyFans, etc.).
They keep rewarding collective female self-obsession while simultaneously complaining about it.
A garden grows where you water it. Men have been watering the wrong flowers.
The real truth isn’t flattering to anybody.
Women aren’t naturally narcissistic.
They just grow up in a world that treats them like they are the prize from day one.
Men aren’t naturally victims.
They just feed and fund the system and then cry about the inevitable result.
The collective narcissism that too many women fall prey to and often display is the predictable outcome of attention from (mostly) men given freely without depth and admiration from (mostly) men received by women without those women exercising temperance.
Closing Thought 💭
If we as a society want less female narcissism, we should stop rewarding it.
If we want healthier women, we should stop glorifying their image and start engaging their character instead.
A world full of “queen energy” with no “queen behavior” is not feminism…
It’s ego inflation.
And inflated things burst eventually.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 