Let’s stop lying to each other.
Beauty pageants aren’t “empowering,” they’re polite objectification of women wrapped in rhinestones.
They’re Instagram before Instagram, except with judges old enough to be the fathers and grandfathers of the contestants.
Every year we pretend these events are about “scholarship,” “character,” and “inner beauty,” while parading women across a stage to be graded like they’re at a Texas cattle auction.
The only people who believe pageants are empowering are the ones who benefit from the illusion.
If that makes you mad, good.
Now let’s talk honestly.
“Let’s Call Beauty Pageants What They Really Are…”
To maximize symmetry of thought, I divided each section of this post into a “HER SIDE / HIS SIDE” mirror that exposes how each gender experiences or views the pageant world.
I find this format so much more revealing. I hope you do, too…
1. What They Tell You It Is vs What It Actually Is
HER SIDE
They tell women beauty pageants are a “celebration of womanhood.”
Translation: Prove you can perform the exact version of femininity strangers decided is acceptable. Graceful but not intimidating, sexy but never sexual, confident but never disruptive.
HIS SIDE
They tell men beauty pageants are harmless entertainment.
Translation: Watch women compete to fit a fantasy you didn’t even create. It feels like choice, but it’s engineered desire. You’re not “appreciating beauty,” you’re being sold a false template of femininity.
2. The Real Skill Being Judged
HER SIDE
It’s not just about looks. It’s about compliance.
How well can you stay inside the frame without cracking?
Smile, walk, pose, speak, all while pretending none of this is about male approval or corporate sponsorships.
HIS SIDE
It’s not judgment. It’s conditioning.
You’re trained to reward the woman who best performs “safe femininity,” then wonder why real relationships feel complicated. Pageants feed men the illusion of effortless womanhood.
Actual womanhood looks nothing like what beauty pageants emphasize.
3. The Emotional Cost
HER SIDE
Girls grow up thinking beauty is a competition with rules they never agreed to. They learn which bodies count, which faces win, which personalities get muted for applause.
HIS SIDE
Men grow up believing beauty should be standardized.
They don’t do it maliciously. They just swallow the marketing. A woman becomes “better” or “worse” based on her alignment to the template, not her character or compatibility.
4. The Social Lie We All Participate In
HER SIDE
Women pretend pageants are empowering because saying the truth out loud sounds “ungrateful,” especially when scholarships and opportunities are attached.
HIS SIDE
Men pretend they’re supporting confidence and achievement, even though they know damn well they care more about the swimsuit portion than the interview segment.
5. The Real Reason Pageants Still Exist
HER SIDE
Because women are still rewarded for fitting within the fantasy.
Crowns, attention, sponsorships, “role model” PR, all given on the condition you don’t step outside the lines.
HIS SIDE
Because men still want the fantasy. Even if they won’t admit it.
A world where femininity is predictable, polished, and non-threatening. Pageants are the last safe space for the old script.
6. The Truth No One Wants to Say
HER SIDE
Beauty pageants didn’t empower women.
Women empowered pageants by playing the game so well that the world mistook performance for progress.
HIS SIDE
Beauty pageants don’t benefit men. They don’t benefit women either, but I digress…
They infantilize men, feeding men the idea that beauty should arrive pre-packaged, curated, and effortless, setting men up to struggle with actual intimacy.
Closing Thought For Both Sides of the Mirror
Beauty pageants aren’t evil. But they aren’t inspiring either.
They’re the enduring relic of a world where women are the eager performers and men are invested spectators.
Everyone loses when we pretend these pageants are about empowerment rather than exploitation.
Once you see the script, you can’t unsee it.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 