The Double Standard That Never Dies…
A man sleeps around, and he’s “experienced.”
A woman does the same, and she’s “damaged.”
That double standard has survived a millennia of religion, decades of feminism, and the sexual revolution — and it still shapes how both genders perceive a prospective mate’s sexual history today.
The Evolutionary Argument
Viewed from a biological lens, the harsh judgment promiscuous women often face has roots in evolutionary incentives.
Men historically gained status and genetic success from bedding multiple partners — little risk, high reward.
Women, on the other hand, faced pregnancy, resource scarcity, and social instability when they engaged in promiscuous behavior. So historically, societies placed high value on chastity as a way to ensure paternity certainty and social order.
For women, promiscuity has historically come with high risk and little reward.
This bias still lingers long after modern society has largely eliminated the biological and social need for the chastity imperative.
The Social Reality
Modern society still reinforces the bias against promiscuous women subtly…
Men still gain value through sexual conquest — proof of desirability.
Women risk losing value through excess sexual choice — proof of instability.
Even in an era of equality, dating markets often echo these ancestral instincts.
Women are still perceived as “less loyal” or “less serious” when their past is sexually liberal, while men are rarely questioned for the same behavior.
The Psychological Layer
Promiscuity is often seen as a signal — rightly or wrongly — of emotional impulsiveness or lack of discernment.
When applied to women, this assumption becomes moralized.
When applied to men, it’s often romanticized.
The hypocrisy reveals less about morality and more about fear…
Men fear betrayal.
Women fear replacement.
Both project those fears onto the sexual behaviors of prospective partners.
A promiscuous woman is perceived by men and women alike as much more likely to betray her husband than a promiscuous man is to leave his wife for another woman (i.e. replace her).
Men tend to be more detached and compartmentalized when it comes to sex than women. A promiscuous man can often separate the “fun girl” from the woman he considers his primary partner and remain otherwise loyal to the primary partner.
Historically, a man can maintain a harem with enough wealth and power and never become too emotionally attached to any one woman in the harem.
A woman risks paternity uncertainty, being ostracized by society, and risk numerous other negative consequences for the same behavior.
The Cultural Fallout
Social media and hookup culture have made this divide even sharper.
A woman’s sexual freedom is marketed as empowerment — until she wants commitment, and suddenly her past becomes ammunition readily available for use against her.
Meanwhile, men are encouraged to “sow their oats,” and are at best only punished later for lacking the very restraint they never had to learn.
Is the Judgment Justified?
From a fairness standpoint — no.
From a biological or sociological standpoint — it’s understandable, but not excusable.
Evolution may explain instincts, but it doesn’t justify double standards.
We can acknowledge where the double standards came from without pretending they belong in modern relationship dynamics.
The Modern Paradox
Men still want and value women who are selective.
Women still want and value men who are desired.
But in a world where both genders are “free,” the old math doesn’t add up.
The double standard punishes women for being human — and shields men from accountability for engaging in the same choices.
The sex (or gender) ratio (the number of men per 100 women in a given population) only exacerbates this paradoxical problem.
For the record, this is why we see women pursuing the top 10% of men to the detriment of the bottom 90% of men, and the men with options in such skewed environments not really ready to commit.
Closing Thought 💭
A society obsessed with equality but addicted to hypocrisy have difficulty forging honest relationships.
If freedom means anything, it’s the right to make mistakes — and still be seen as worthy of love.
However, it is unrealistic to ignore the double standards or to excuse promiscuous behavior from women or men.
Actions still have consequences, even when the standards aren’t fair.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 