Preface: I must say up front that I’m not a big believer in SMV. I think the manosphere interpretation of the concept is pure copium and delusion. However, to completely dismiss the concept is rather foolhardy.
I think SMV provides a framework for optimizing yourself that I think people should consider if they want to improve their chances for success in the dating market, or at least judge their desirability if they are already in a long-term relationship or marriage.
I applied my own, more balanced view of what constitutes SMV to this post. I hope it proves useful to my readers.
With the preface out of the way…
You may think you know your sexual market value — but most people dramatically overestimate it.
The people who underestimate it are usually the ones with real options.
SMV isn’t about ego. It’s not about beauty standards, manosphere fantasies, or feminist slogans.
It’s simply this…
How the opposite sex perceives your desirability in the real dating market, not in your head.
Below are the His & Hers SMV frameworks — because men and women are evaluated differently, even if no one wants to admit it to themselves.
HER SMV: What Men Actually Value (Whether They Say It or Not)
Men’s preferences are brutally simple yet often deeply misunderstood.
Women are often misled by compliments, social media “likes,” and romantic language. They confuse male attention for intention.
Here are the real levers:
1. Youthfulness + Vitality
Not infantilization — actual fertility signals.
Smooth skin.
Bright eyes.
Healthy hair.
Energy.
Optimism.
Women in their 20s aren’t better; they’re just signaling biological potential. That is 100% tethered to a woman’s age as well as her health.
Age Range Impact:
18–24: Peak demand
25–29: High demand
30–34: Declining but still very appealing
35–40: Niche appeal
40+: Dependent on lifestyle, fitness, and vibe
This isn’t fair.
But it is a reflection of how most men determine a woman’s overall attractiveness.
2. Physical Attractiveness (NOT Instagram Beauty)
Men care about:
- Symmetry
- Femininity
- Natural attractiveness
- Fitness
- Waist-to-hip ratio
- Softness, approachability, and warmth
Not:
- Contouring
- Filters
- Brazilian Butt Lifts (BBLs)
- “Hot girl” club aesthetics
Natural beauty wins long-term.
“Hotness” wins short-term.
Long-term gets the ring.
3. Personality Warmth + Agreeableness
This is the silent multiplier.
Women underestimate how much:
- Kindness
- Playfulness
- Supportiveness
- Femininity
- Peace-giving energy
…multiply their value.
Men stay where they feel admired, not where they feel challenged.
4. Relationship Intentions
Traits in high SMV women that men check for are:
- Easy-to-get-along-with disposition
- Drama-lite
- Loyal
- Emotionally stable
A woman’s seriousness about her relationships matters more to men than her career, salary, or social clout.
5. Sexual Reputation
Fair or not, a woman’s “body count” and corresponding sexual reputation impacts how men perceive her.
Men use it as a proxy to determine:
- Loyalty
- Paternity confidence
- Ability to bond
- Emotional stability
A woman’s SMV is directly connected to her “body count.” It’s one indicator of her behavior patterns.
A word of caution…
A woman’s history of previous sexual partners doesn’t necessarily give you a complete understanding of her character.
An older woman with seven or eight previous partners that were all long-term relationships might indicate emotional stability rather promiscuity, whereas a younger woman with only two previous partners might turn out to be disloyal and promiscuous.
6. Lifestyle and Social Behavior (Better Indicators of Her Behavior Patterns)
Does she:
-Chase attention?
-Constantly post thirst traps?
-Always go out?
-Collect male orbiters?
These behaviors degrade her perceived long-term value, even if they spike short-term interest.
Estimating Her SMV: A Quick Formula
Her SMV ≈ Physical Attractiveness × Femininity × Emotional Stability × Lifestyle Discipline
Multiply, don’t add — because one deficit (e.g., chaos, high drama, unstable habits) crashes the whole score.
HIS SMV: What Women Actually Value (Not What Men Think Women Value)
Women’s preferences tend to be hierarchical. In other words, women look for men who are on their level or higher in terms of intelligence, education, and income.
On the other hand, a man doesn’t need perfection; he needs sufficiency plus differentiation.
1. Competence + Capability
A man who can handle life is automatically attractive.
What healthy, emotionally stable women tend to look for in men is:
- Sound problem-solving ability
- Sound decision-making
- Leadership
- Confidence without arrogance
- Reliability
Competence ≠ money.
A man’s ability to deftly navigate life is a skill that largely determines his long-term desirability in a woman’s mind.
2. Status Signals (Not Status Braggadocio)
Women respond to a man’s:
- Ambition
- Social proof
- Respect from his peers
- Life mission
- Life direction
Not:
- Flexing
- Clout-chasing
- Fake “alpha” nonsense
Status is earned and it shows when it is faked or contrived.
It’s important to note that aspirational status still counts, as long as there is a plan and movement towards a goal that a woman can see.
3. Physical Fitness + Body Composition
Women care less about male beauty and more about:
- V-shape (age-dependent, older men just need to not have a beer belly)
- Posture
- Strength
- Health
- Vitality
- Masculine presence
*Not abs. Presence.
4. Emotional Intelligence (the Male Shortage Factor)
Men who can:
- Articulate their feelings
- Regulate their emotions
- Empathize
- Communicate clearly and directly
…skyrocket in value.
This is the “new sexy” because it’s rare.
5. Provisioning Ability (Not Just Financial)
Women evaluate men on the following questions:
-Can he provide stability?
-Is he dependable?
-Does he make good decisions?
-Can he protect emotionally and physically?
Money helps, but wisdom matters more.
6. Social Intelligence
Women care deeply about:
- How her man is perceived (socially, professionally)
- Whether people like him (proof social competence)
- Whether he fits into her life (compatibility on social and intimate levels)
Men underestimate women’s emphasis on social intelligence massively.
How you project yourself as a man socially is a reflection on your woman and women are acutely aware of this.
7. Commitment Intentions
A man who is:
- Intelligently selective
- Intentional
- Not desperate
- Clear about commitment
…scores far higher than the “I’ll take anything” guy.
Women equate intent + selectiveness with value.
Estimating His SMV: A Quick Formula
His SMV ≈ Competence × Confidence × Emotional Intelligence × Lifestyle Stability × Future Trajectory
Men’s SMV has a curve that peaks later because a man’s value tends to grow primarily through discipline. Discipline is cultivated over time, it’s not inherent.
The Biggest SMV Mistake Each Gender Makes
Women:
Confusing male attention with male desire.
Likes aren’t options.
DMs don’t signal commitment.
Men:
Confusing female friendship with romantic interest.
“She likes you being around” ≠ “she wants you.”
The Truth Many From Both Genders Hate to Admit
Your SMV isn’t what YOU think it is…
It’s what the opposite sex is looking for and consistently chooses for themselves.
If the people you want to date:
-Want you short-term but not long-term → your SMV is unbalanced.
-Like you but don’t pursue you → you have “passive value”
-Pursue you but don’t respect you → you have “surface value”
-Commit to you quickly and compete for you → your SMV is truly high
The market always reveals the truths you avoid or deny.
Closing Thought 💭
Estimating your SMV isn’t about vanity — it’s about gaining clarity about yourself
Knowing your true value in the sexual marketplace, not the manosphere or feminist interpretation of value, lets you know if you’re ready to date where you’re wanted, not chasing delusions.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 