Some people throw a party after surviving cancer.
Others throw one after surviving a car crash or recovering from a major surgery.
But throwing a party because you blew up your marriage—or picked someone who made it implode—isn’t “empowerment…”
It’s delusion dressed up with champagne and a hashtag.
Divorce is sometimes necessary.
It can even be the healthier choice than staying in a bad or abusive marriage.
But celebrating the end of a marriage like it’s a birthday or a promotion is tantamount to announcing to the world, “I failed at something that was supposed to last—and I want applause for it.”
Marriage isn’t a random situation that just “happened” to you.
You chose your partner. You both said “forever.”
If it ends before one of you dies (one of only two ways marriages end), at minimum, it means one of you was wrong—or one or both of you simply quit.
The saddest part?
Most of these parties don’t scream “freedom”—they scream “insecurity.”
It’s not closure; it’s performance.
It’s not healing; it’s PR.
No one who’s genuinely at peace with the end of their marriage needs to rent a venue, pose with a broken cake topper, and post “New Beginnings!” on Instagram while your drunken, and probably also-divorced, friends cheer you on.
Call it whatever you want…
Reclaiming your life, stepping into a new era, celebrating survival…
But at its core, a divorce party is the functional equivalent of throwing a parade because you dropped out of high school.
You don’t celebrate the realization of your of bad choices—you are supposed to learn from them quietly.
And let’s be honest, if you found yourself married to the wrong person, YOU made a poor choice, not just your former spouse.
Even if your former spouse was abusive, a serial cheater, a terrible provider or housekeeper, etc., and you were completely part of the solution in the marriage and not the problem, YOU likely ignored or failed to recognize red flags.
You have to own that. At the very least.
You’re supposed to grow and learn from your failures, not celebrate them.
Growth is what enables you to move on and rebuild.
You want to rebuild? Great.
Move forward with dignity.
Reflect.
Grow.
Do better with the next person—or better yet, improve yourself.
But popping bottles because you’re officially single again isn’t empowering. It’s adolescent.
It’s a participation trophy for starting something you didn’t properly finish. Whether you were at fault or not.
It’s okay to be happy to extricate yourself from a bad marriage, but you don’t need a DJ, abundant alcohol, and a three-tier cake to close such a chapter.
You just need reflection and perspective.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 