The Influencers Who Lied to You (On Both Sides)
Everyone wants sex to be recreational because no one wants to take responsibility for the consequences that often come with sex.
So we outsourced the lie to influencers.
The manosphere sold it as dominance.
Modern feminism sold it as empowerment.
Different branding.
Same damage.
The Manosphere Lie (Sold by Podcasters Who Never Built a Family)
Andrew Tate.
Fresh & Fit.
Sneako.
Rollo Tomassi.
An entire ecosystem of men talking about relationships with women they can’t actually sustain.
They tell men:
- Variety equals status
- Emotional attachment is weakness
- Monogamy is for “beta males”
- “High-value men” avoid commitment
But here’s what they never show you:
- Long-term marriages they built
- Stable families they lead
- Healthy adult attachment
- Respectable female peers who stayed
Because most of them don’t have it.
They confuse:
- Access with fulfillment
- Novelty with power
- Detachment with masculinity
A man who needs endless novelty is not dominant.
He’s dopamine-dependent.
What the Manosphere Won’t Admit
Men bond through sex too.
While women need to feel love or safety to have sex, men need to have sex to be at peace and feel love.
- Repeated access always creates emotional imprints for the man
- Detachment requires emotional numbing
- Casual sex trains disposability
- Disposability kills trust
The so-called Manosphere didn’t create “strong men.”
They created men who:
- Can’t tolerate boredom
- Panic in stable relationships
- Need chaos to “feel alive”
- Mistake arousal for purpose
Then they ask:
“Why are modern women impossible?”
Because you trained yourself to treat intimacy like fast food.
The Feminist Lie (Sold by Academics & Influencers Who Avoid Accountability)
Sex-positive feminists.
TikTok “therapists.”
BuzzFeed feminism.
OnlyFans apologists.
Instagram empowerment culture.
They tell women:
- Choice equals empowerment
- Emotional fallout is social conditioning
- Detachment is a sign of emotional maturity
- Women can and should “fuck like men”
But here’s what they don’t show you:
- Fulfilled long-term outcomes based upon their “advice”
- Stable marriages formed through hookup culture
- Women who feel more secure afterward
- Attachment styles that improved—not fractured
Because the data doesn’t comport with the narrative.
What Feminism Won’t Admit
Women bond faster and deeper on average.
- Oxytocin hits harder
- Emotional attachment forms earlier
- “Casual” often means “hopeful”
- Detachment often requires self-betrayal
When women say:
“I thought I’d be okay with it”
That’s not “the patriarchy” talking.
That’s biology cashing a check ideology wrote.
Calling pain “internalized misogyny” doesn’t make it disappear.
The Shared Scam No One Wants to Own
The manosphere and feminism agree on one thing:
“If you feel hurt, you’re doing it wrong.”
So people silence themselves.
They suppress regret.
They normalize numbness.
They perform confidence.
And then they wonder why:
- Dating feels hostile
- Trust feels dangerous
- Everyone is guarded
- Sex feels emptier than ever
Because you were taught to ignore reality.
Why Influencers Push This Lie
Because recreational sex:
- Keeps people single
- Keeps them scrolling on dating apps
- Keeps them consuming content
- Keeps them emotionally dysregulated
- Keeps them dependent on ideology
Stable people don’t need gurus.
The Truth They Can’t Monetize
Sex is:
- Biologically bonding
- Psychologically imprinting
- Emotionally consequential
High-value men don’t avoid intimacy.
They select carefully.
High-value women don’t numb themselves.
They protect access to their bodies and emotions.
That doesn’t make them conservative.
It makes them sane.
Closing Thoughts 💭
Andrew Tate didn’t free men.
He trained them to confuse arousal with power.
Modern feminism didn’t free women.
It trained them to confuse emotional numbness with strength.
Sex is not recreational.
Your favorite influencer just needs it to be.
Because if people understood the truth, half of these ideologies would collapse overnight.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 