It’s not biology that makes the dual mating strategy selfish — it’s the way modern humans use it as a loophole to get maximum benefits with minimum responsibility.
The term “dual mating strategy” often gets thrown around like a biological trump card.
Women want a safe provider and an exciting lover.
Men want a loyal wife and sexual variety with either a more “exciting” woman or with multiple women.
The men and women who think this way say to themselves, or sometimes aloud, that nature made us this way, so “don’t judge.” 🙄
But here’s the uncomfortable truth…
What biology explains, morality still has to govern.
And in modern relationships, the dual mating instinct is often used not as a survival mechanism, but as a justification for exploitation.
1. The Dual Mating Strategy Made Sense Biologically — Not Morally
In the ancestral environment, the logic was simple:
- Security from one partner increased the odds of survival for offspring
- Genetic diversity from another partner increased the chance that they would bear strong offspring
However, today, we aren’t fighting tigers. We have birth control, stable jobs, hospitals, and contracts.
We don’t need dual mating the way evolution designed it.
In the modern world, just want the benefits without the consequences.
And anytime you want something that gives YOU more while risking someone else’s stability, that’s not biology…
That’s selfishness dressed in scientific language.
2. It’s Selfish Because It Forces People Into Narrow, Subordinate Roles They Likely Didn’t Know They Signed Up For
Dual mating logic implicitly says:
“I want you for security.”
“I want someone else for excitement.”
“I want freedom for ME and sacrifice from YOU.”
It splits people into functions—protector, provider, pleasure source—rather than whole human beings with emotions, dignity, and expectations.
When someone treats their partner as a utility, it’s exploitative.
When they justify it as “evolutionary biology,” it’s cowardice.
3. It Creates Moral Hazards
The moment people believe:
“My nature justifies my duplicity,” they become dangerous.
The dual mating excuse often leads to:
- Hedging bets in relationships
- Keeping an emotional and/or financial backup
- Staying in a relationship while constantly seeking upgrades
- Half-truths, half-loyalty, and full entitlement
It’s the relational equivalent of short selling your partner’s trust.
4. It Requires One Person to Carry the Risk
Dual mating always demands an unequal sacrifice:
- One partner gives stability while the other seeks novelty.
- One commits fully while the other keeps their options open.
- One risks heartbreak while the other seemingly risks nothing.
A relationship where one side quietly acts on a “dual strategy” is simply this…
A secret contract only one person in the relationship signed can only benefit the person that signed the contract and created the arrangement.
That’s why it’s selfish.
5. It Undermines the Very Thing Relationships Are Built On
A relationship is a voluntary limitation…
“I choose you; not because I have no options, but because I’m drawing a line to hold myself accountable to you and only you.”
Dual mating is the opposite:
“I want you — but I want to leave the door cracked open, just in case I want to exercise other options.”
That isn’t love.
That isn’t commitment.
That isn’t partnership.
It’s a contingency plan wearing a wedding band.
6. Modern Relationships Require Moral Discipline, Not Evolutionary Excuses
Evolution explains impulses.
Character explains choices.
We’re all wired for temptation, curiosity, novelty, and variety.
That’s human.
But loyalty, integrity, honesty, delayed gratification, and moral restraint?
That’s adulthood.
It’s easier to point to biology than to admit…
“I want what benefits me even if it hurts you.”
That’s the real root of the dual mating strategy in the modern world.
7. The Modern Version of Dual Mating Isn’t a Strategy — It’s Selfishness Wrapped in Dishonesty
There’s a version of dual mating that isn’t selfish at all:
- Open relationships with explicit consent and agreement by both parties to the relationship
- Polygamous dynamics built on transparency rather than secrecy
- Ethically non-monogamous structures with clear boundaries that all parties agree upon and honor
But 99.9% of people use the “dual mating strategy” as a shield and aren’t doing any of the above.
They’re doing this…
“I want to behave monogamously when it benefits me and non-monogamously when it benefits me.”
That’s not biology.
That’s narcissism.
Closing Thought 💭
If you want excitement, loyalty, or options — choose them honestly.
If you want monogamy — honor it fully.
The selfishness isn’t in the instinct.
It’s in pretending you can pursue and indulge both the illusion of monogamy and the thrill of sexual novelty with others without consequences.
-The Rational Ram
The Rational Ram 