Success and value.
Which one is more important?
Which one is a more worthwhile goal to achieve?
To most so-called “alpha males” (and “alpha females” too), value is a byproduct of success. The reality is that success is a byproduct of being a person of value.
This is the crux of the Albert Einstein quote that opens this post.
With this salient point in mind, let’s explore the question, “what makes a man an alpha male”?
I posit that it isn’t bravado, machismo, or notches in bedposts that make one “alpha”.
Here are the ten things that make a man alpha:
1. Have honesty and integrity. To quote Al Pacino as Tony Montana in the film Scarface, “all I have in this world is my word and my balls and I don’t break them for nobody”!
Res ipsa loquitur (feel free to look this up)
2. Real alpha males inspire those around them. Fake alpha males can’t look good unless they are standing on top of others. They want respect, but don’t dispense it to others in kind. Real alpha males strive to make everyone around them better. They encourage and empower people rather than berate or belittle them.
3. Real alpha males accept responsibility and do not point fingers at others for their mistakes and shortcomings. They also don’t take credit for things they didn’t do and show humility by giving credit to others or emphasizing what is accomplished as a team. To this day, it is not known whether it was Sir Edmund Hillary or Tenzing Norgay that reached the summit of Mount Everest first because both men wanted to emphasize what was accomplished as a team, not seek individual accolades.
4. Real alpha males are wise. They constantly seek wisdom and knowledge and freely share the same with others. They listen to and consider multiple points of view.
5. Real alpha males are passionate and committed about every aspect of their personal and professional lives.
6. Real alpha males have charisma. They are well-read and able to communicate with anyone, from the CEO to the janitor and gives the same level of respect to both.
7. Real alpha males are decisive and because they take the time to fully understand situations or problems, they fully understand the impact of their decisions.
8. Real alpha males are confident; not out of false bravado, but because they understand that confidence comes from experience. You can fake confidence, but you cannot manufacture it. Confidence comes from both successes and mistakes made over time, which enables you to see your own value (note Einstein quote).
9. Real alpha males (and real leaders) have empathy. If you cannot feel another’s pain, you cannot lead them in healing or inspire them to become better people because you lack to blueprints to guide them.
10. Real alpha males control their emotions. This doesn’t mean they should not show emotion, but real alpha males are the calmest in chaotic situations. They don’t respond to hate with hatred or dignify personal insults by being insulting in kind. Insults are the last refuge of the idiotic when they feel powerless.
Hope this list inspires someone today!
-The Rational Ram