Deconstructing The Manosphere (Part II): Female Hypergamy

I open part two of this three part series on deconstructing the so-called Manosphere with a preface…

The Manosphere is mostly an online phenomenon and is not representative of the thoughts and attitudes of most men. However, since most of us live online lives to some degree, to say that the red pill ideology running rampant online has not reached and exerted some influence on a significant number of men is not a logical or wise conclusion to draw, even if you have never heard of red pill ideology.

I can assure my readers that they likely know someone who at least consumes Manosphere content on some level, even if they do not subscribe to red pill ideology.

It is upon this basis that I endeavor to inform my readers about red pill ideology and expose its fallacious nature on my blog.

The more you know…

I have written about female hypergamy on this blog before. The term “hypergamy” simply means “marriage into an equal or higher caste or social class (than oneself)”

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hypergamy

In the Manosphere, the term has since been redefined to further describe the (supposedly undesirable) female tendency to not just “marry up”, but to “date up” and only have sex with the men that are considered the most desirable (i.e. handsome, tall, buff, financially stable, etc.), leaving the less desirable men (i.e. not so handsome, short, fat, scrawny, financially unstable, etc.) out in the cold.

This female hypergamy narrative (built upon the foundation laid by SMV theory) is at the heart of the so-called “80/20 rule“, where supposedly 80% of the women are only interested pursuing relationships with the top 20% of men.

NOTE: The 80/20 rule above should not be confused with the Pareto principle prevalent in the business world, where it is theorized that 80% of effects come from 20% of causes. The Manosphere version of the 80/20 rule is likely a cheap ripoff of the Pareto principle.

https://www.thebalancecareers.com/pareto-s-principle-the-80-20-rule-2275148

This sort of thinking only serves to fuel the largely self-inflicted insecurities that infest the thoughts of most of the denizens of the Manosphere. I mean, it just has to be female nature or someone or something else at fault to explain why these men are not considered good enough to date or mate with, right?

To be fair, I do not think the concept of female hypergamy (as the Manosphere defines it) has no basis in fact. I posit that the empirical evidence strongly suggests that female hypergamy is a very real thing.

Just like SMV theory is strongly supported by empirical evidence, so too is female hypergamy.

Consider the following…

How many real-life stories are out there where the high-powered executive marries (or has an affair with) his secretary? How about the doctor that married one of the nurses on his ward? The six-figure guy that marries the waitress at his favorite restaurant?

Life is replete with true stories of men who engage in hypogamy, the inverse of hypergamy, or marrying or dating someone of a lower caste or social class than oneself. Men engaging in hypogamy is the basis for virtually every Disney fairytale in the history of the world.

Every little girl is culturally conditioned to believe in the efficacy of the fairytale ending where the beautiful peasant woman marries a handsome and wealthy prince or king. This is why Princess Diana (née Diana Spencer) is so revered and almost deified to this day. She was the epitome of the fairytale ending, at least up until her marital problems with Prince Charles, her subsequent royal divorce, and her problems living as a royal were revealed and now serve as a well-documented caveat that the fairytale ending may not reflect reality in the long term.

While female hypergamy has considerable basis in fact, at least empirically, my rebuttal to the Manosphere interpretation of it is that…

1. Everyone should be hypergamous!

What parent wants their daughter to marry a bum?

Should it not be everyone’s goal, man or woman, to date and mate with the highest quality partner you can find who will requite your affection?

2. Women engage in hypogamy too.

As mentioned in my rebuttal of SMV theory, not every woman has the same definition of what makes for a high-quality man.

What is considered a high-quality man in New York or Los Angeles is not exactly the same thing as what makes a man high-quality in Dallas, or Seattle, or Birmingham, or Fairbanks, or Bangor.

There are plenty of women who date, mate, and marry “down“. If this were not the case, the conservative Christian American Heartland would not exist and idealistic young people would never hastily and foolishly have children before they can move out of their parents’ basement.

Like other tenets of red pill ideology, female hypergamy is just another excuse for its low-quality denizens to complain and excuse their inadequacies and insecurities.

Female hypergamy is not something men should fear. In fact, a hypergamous woman actually has standards. Granted, those standards might not be realistic (see the opening photo above or the link below), depending upon the individual woman, but men and women alike should know what they want in a mate.

https://muriithimartin.blogspot.com/2011/08/six-sixes-how-women-judge-and-choose.html?m=1

After all, you will never get what you want if you do not know what you want.

Next up: “Women hitting the wall”

-The Rational Ram