The quote that open this blog post speaks a fundamental truth we human beings seldom stop to contemplate upon. Men tend to unconsciously seek admiration and women tend to unconsciously admire the real accomplishments of men, whether they are interested in a man romantically or not.
The basic truth this quote articulates is that women are not attracted to a man just because he is a man. Women are attracted to a man’s accomplishments more than they are to the man himself. A man’s accomplishments speaks to his ability to execute the “Four P’s”…
The last one (procreate) is where a woman’s physical attraction to a man is important, but not as important in the grand scheme as the other three, especially in modern society.
Of course, beauty is always in the eye of the beholder, ergo, what individual women find physically attractive about a man can vary wildly. What tends to be of paramount importance to most women is how much other people (women and men alike) admire a man because it is a form of socioeconomic proof.
Admiration is roughly defined (within the context of this post) as warm regard for, approval of, or respect for the demonstrated qualities of a person. In short, we tend to admire the people that we wish to emulate. We admire war heroes, captains of industry, the wealthy entrepreneur, the uber-intelligent scientist or engineer, the elite athlete, etc. because we wish to be like them or possess the traits and abilities that they possess.
Men are generally admired by people (and by women in particular) for their accomplishments in the following areas:
Let us examine each area with specificity…
1. Financial stability/acumen
Most women admire a man’s ability to attain and manage wealth. In our modern society, we no longer need to hunt for our food. Money is the essential resource that enables us to sustain ourselves and thrive, so it stands to reason that a man’s ability to accumulate the requisite wealth to take care of his mate and his offspring is vitally important.
Financial instability and/or incompetence in a man is seldom rewarded by women and never admired. Impoverished men can (at best) only attract impoverished women. Generally speaking, financially unstable men are not admirable and have a hard time finding and maintaining healthy relationships with women, especially quality women.
The old saying “love doesn’t pay the bills” is a truism that most women subscribe to even if they do not openly admit it.
As mentioned in a previous blog post, women tend to be sapiosexual in nature (attracted to intelligence). As an attraction point, intelligence speaks to a man’s genetic stock and indicates his competence and ability to attain wealth. This indicates a man’s ability to perform at least two of the four P’s (produce and provide) and is a factor in the ability to produce intelligent offspring (procreation). I might add that in our modern society, wealth also buys protection.
History is replete with men admired for their education and intelligence. This is no different in our modern society. In fact, according to Pew Research, “college-educated adults are more likely to be married than less-educated adults” (Pew Research, 2015)
The link between a college education and a lasting marriage
Education is an indicator of the ability to produce and maintain wealth.
3. Social status
Women often enjoy wearing the social status of their husbands or boyfriends. If this were not the case, terms like “the doctor’s wife”, “the preacher’s wife”, “the banker’s wife”, and women being referred to by their prominent husband’s name after “Mrs.” (i.e. “Mrs. Bill Gates”) would not endure as a socially acceptable way to address a married woman.
Additionally, women tend to take great pride in their ability to “flex” on their circle of girlfriends who do not have husbands or who have mates who are not good producers/providers.
Men of means (and please recall that becoming a “man of means” does not necessarily translate to “millionaire”; it does not take as much to become a man of means as one might think) tend to ensure their women serve as reflections of their socioeconomic status. Men of means practice this by providing their women with the best accoutrements (purses, shoes, jewelry, car, clothes, etc.) they can afford to project status.
The women of men of means often “flex” because they did not buy the nice shoes, the big ring, or the fancy purse herself; she can brag to her circle of single and/or lower class girlfriends that she is so valued by her “producer” husband/boyfriend/lover that she does not have to buy these things for herself. As silly as this might sound, a man who can provide a woman the ability to “flex” is truly a point of attraction for women.
4. Physical prowess/vitality
This very much ties into woman’s attraction to a man’s physical appearance, which for younger women also speaks to her willingness to procreate with a man. Women are indeed hard-wired for attraction to “good genes” and there is no better indicator of a person’s potential genetic stock than physical appearance.
As mentioned at the top, physical appearance is more important to men than it is to women. However, this is not to suggest that women are not attracted to and desirous of “hot, good-looking hunks”. However, I am suggesting that how healthy a man is (or appears to be), in addition to his abilities and accomplishments, is more important than his physical appeal because it all adds up to a man’s abilities to be a good provider.
There is a reason an independently wealthy woman or a woman married or paired with an average-looking wealthy man is capable of engaging in casual sex with the hot gardener, the handsome pool boy, or the hunky maintenance man, but likely would not have a serious relationship with any of them.
CONCLUSION: Men should strive to be admired by others by cultivating their abilities and achieving worthy life objectives. Women do not supplicate or submit to men just because they are men. Women are attracted to and will submit to a man’s accomplishments. A man who is admired by others is a man who can transfer that admiration to his woman.
Women are not interested in whether a man’s friends “like” him. What a man’s friends like about him has little to do with what his friends and acquaintances “admire” about him.
A man might be liked by his friends because they all share a love of watching football, while his wife dislikes that she is married to a football fanatic. However, a woman CAN and often does admire a man who is admired because he built a successful and enduring business, served honorably in the military, or actually played professional football at a high level.
A man admired for his abilities and accomplishments is seldom without multiple options in dating or marriage. In fact, such a man is typically spoiled for choice.
-The Rational Ram