On the eve of Father’s Day 2020, I am once again seeing the trend of people wishing single mothers a happy Father’s Day. Words cannot adequately express my disdain for this trend and how utterly disrespectful it is, even to the single mothers it is meant to elevate.
Firstly, by definition a woman cannot be a father. Only men can father a child. Ergo, it is scientifically impossible for a mother to be a father.
I fully realize that we are not talking biological roles here, but rather familial roles. However, a woman cannot play the role of a father in a child’s life anymore than a man can play the role of a mother. Ergo, it is illogical to suggest that a single mother can play both roles in a child’s life. To be fair, all a single parent can do is be the best parent they can possibly be for their child or children.
I wrote at length about how the 50+ year trend of single parenthood (the vast majority being single mothers) is having deleterious effects on society, especially in terms of interpersonal relationships between men and women:
Secondly, single mothers should be just as insulted at the being wished a happy Father’s Day as anyone. While it is meant to honor women who endure raising a child or children with little to no assistance from the father (or fathers), it is also a backhanded reminder that they are enduring the rigors of being a single parent.
While becoming a single mother is not necessarily something a woman voluntarily signed up for, especially in cases where the father died, the woman got a divorce, and/or the man turned out to be a deadbeat and abandoned his family (deadbeat parents, man or woman, are the worst), in many cases, a woman became a single mother as a result of poor decisions.
Everyone makes mistakes, but the deleterious statistics on the adults who are the products of single parent homes is nothing worth celebrating.
To be fair again, it takes two poor decisions to have a child out of wedlock, one by the mother and one by the father, but I digress…
Lastly, single mothers already have a day set aside to celebrate them.
It’s called Mother’s Day.
Happy Father’s Day to the fathers out there raising and/or continuing to mentor their children and fulfilling their role as protector and provider.
-The Rational Ram