To My Male Friends and Family

(Source of photo:

Let me preface this post by saying that I don’t write blog posts on a schedule.

Whenever the mood strikes me or I have a thought I want to convey, I just make the time to do it. Sometimes this leads to my posting three or four times in a day or just posting once every other day.

At the moment of my writing this post, I just felt the need to share some thoughts that helped me develop as a man that may be of some value to other men (and maybe some women, too) out there.

That said, here are ten life lessons all men should learn:

1. Always remember that men bear the burden of performance, so never stop improving yourself intellectually, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Men should never get too comfortable, especially and including in marriage or long term relationships.

2. Chase excellence, not women. This one expands on the first lesson. If you spend your time building your career, your business, taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, etc. you won’t have to seek relationships, they will seek you. Yes, this applies to married men as well. Women are hypergamous by nature and if you work on being the highest value man you can be, you will secure and strengthen your relationship with your wife as a byproduct of your self-improvement.

3. Never self-deprecate under any circumstances. If you’ve ever read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi (I highly recommend that you do) you know this is one of his 9 Iron Rules. In short, self-depreciation is not attractive to women. In fact, it’s a huge turn-off. When a man does this, however innocuous it might seem to you, he is signaling to his wife or girlfriend that he is of lower value than she is.

4. Be ambitious. This goes to the first two lessons, but if self-depreciation is a huge turn-off to women, having ambition is a huge turn-on. A lack of ambition signals to a woman that you lack drive, direction, and confidence. Having ambition doesn’t mean having unrealistic goals or dreams, but it does mean that even with bold goals and dreams, if you are actively working a plan to achieve your goals and dreams, then you have real ambition.

It also means…

5. Make sure you have a job or have an income while pursuing excellence. No woman can respect a man who doesn’t work, at least not for long. Working at McDonald’s while you are actively pursuing excellence is sexy to a woman. Sitting around drinking and playing video games while just talking about the excellence you’ll have one day is not.

6. Take ownership of your mistakes and shortcomings. Making excuses or denying your mistakes and shortcomings makes you look weak. Embracing and correcting the same means you are wise, strong, and logical.

7. Never compete to be the “smartest man in the room”. If you find yourself doing this, stop. If you realize that you are the smartest person in the room, either leave the room or remain quiescent. Point being that a lion doesn’t have to point out that it is a lion, it’s self-evident. Be the man who adds value to a conversation vs trying to dominate the conversation.

8. Nothing worth having in life ever comes quickly or easily.

9. Never pursue what you desire because even if you get it, it’s never as valuable or desirable as you thought. If you continue to work on being the best version of yourself, you will be amazed at what comes your way.

10. He who faces adversity head-on ceases fearing adversity and grows stronger as a result. For this reason, view adversity as a challenge, not an insurmountable obstacle.

-The Rational Ram

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